What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick

thumb_up thumb_down +41

how many jews can you fit in a honda civic 1 in the driver seat, 1 in the passenger seat and 3 in the back properly fixed with safety belts.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Relax, and I do not mean as in hypnotic "relax as you do not not... Okay I used it again I am just joking" Nice, so are they like pretty doubles or not?

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

thumb_up thumb_down +41

When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

why does andy thomson speak that slow because he speaks that way

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A man is walking on a beach when he finds a golden lamp. He rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie tells the man he will grant three wishes. The man wastes his wishes on material goods that do not bring him happiness.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

The geese of Growmore

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q: Why did the little boy cry? please answer this question in the form of a 2 page essay and back up your answer from personal experiences, your readings or any other outside sources.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Jessica walks into a bar jokes jessica cant walk

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Three tomatoes are walking down the street... No wait, they're in my salad.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

I won the game.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Whats a good source of iron? A piece of iron.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A Black man walks out of a KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

why did the chicken cross the road Kill yoself

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

roses are red, violets are blue, fudge is sweet, heres some fudge.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops