What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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There were three hungry cows in a barn. One day, one of them finds a stick of butter on the ground, and notifies the other cows of his findings. Since the barn was ran like a democracy, the cows decided via 2/3 vote that the winner of the stick of butter should be decided by a checkers tournament. The problem is that there is no good way to run a checkers tournament with three cows because checkers is a one-on-one game. The first cow suggests trying to find another cow to join in so that they could have a bracket-style tournament, but there were only three cows that lived in the barn. The second cow suggests a round-robin style tournament. The third cow informs the second cow that there is a possibility of a tie because each cow can finish with one win and one loss among the two games in a round-robin tournament. The first cow suggests that the round-robin process can be repeated until there is a winner. This joint suggestion was approved by 2/3 vote by the cows. Finally the checkers tournament begins. The first cow says to the second cow, "you butter not beat me at checkers!"

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a man walks into a bar, sits down, sighs and says, "i had the worst day ever." the bartender replies with, "worse than 9/11?" the man then says "well, 9/11 wasn't that bad."

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1+1=3 If you don't use a condom.

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Jack and Jill climb a tall hill to get some water from the well for there farther who has been working in the fields. Jack trips and hits his hell on a rock and Jill promptly calls 911 and stays with him until help arrives.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

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Knock knock! "It's unlocked"

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roses are red facebook is blue you look f**kable so i'll add you by: matt

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What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

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your mamas so fat she falls out f both sides of the bed

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A pregnant woman takes the bus, once inside she realizes that there are no seats. No one was pollite enough to let her sit down so she felt pretty uncomfortable on the way home.

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What did the little boy find when he came home from school? His mother hanging from a tree.

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Q: why did the black man cry when he went to bed? A: he had just had a visit from the police and apparently his family had been tragically killed in a car accident.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your worst nightmare!! Ohh.... Do come in it's raining outside.

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Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road? it said WALK.

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Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

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Why did video kill the radio star? He slept with videos wife.

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whats the best thing about fukkin twentyone year olds...theres twenty of them

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fart

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out that because you were sexually violated, you are now a victim of unplanned pregnancy and have contracted AIDS and any number of other STD's from the horrible expirence that will forever haunt your nightmares.

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what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting fisted by hulk

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What do you call a cool pig? SPIDER-PIG!!!

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yo mamma so fat she seen a yellow train full of white people and she said stop that twinkie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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