How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

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What's funny and arousing? This joke.

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why did the 8 year old want a squirt gun? his parents were on fire

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When geese fly, they often fly in a V-formation. Why is one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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Lets go Detroit Pistons!

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what did the duck say to the dog. quack

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What do you call 4 Mexicans hopping the border? 4 Mexicans in search of a better lifestyle from poverty.

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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throbbing slobber

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drugs.

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If you say gullible over and over again, it sounds like stupidity.

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69

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

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Yo' mama so stupid, she has a lower IQ than the average person.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

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What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

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Why did the black man walk into KFC? He was terribly hungry and had a reasonable amount of currency with him to purchase food for his well being.

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Two drums and a cymbal fall down a cliff. Ba-dum pssh.

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

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A few black men walk into a bank... They all open seperate savings accounts and add a portion of that week's pay to put forward money to pay for their children's college education.

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What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

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Why did the black guy hate the white guy??? Because the white guy enslaved his ancestors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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