where's waldo? in a picture book.

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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What do you call Jesus Christ? Jesus Christ.

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What do divorce and a loose bear in a zoo have in common? They both tear families apart

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There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

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Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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LAMBORGHINI MERCY, YO CHICK SHE SO THIRSTY! IM IN THAT 2 SEAT LAMBO WITH YO GIRL... and I'm giving her some Gatorade because it'll quench her thirst but I'm making sure she doesn't spill on my seats because it's new, k

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What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

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Why did the mechanic sleep under a car? He had narcolepsy.

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What do you call a black Jew that is also a crippled midget with no family except for an autistic brother? His original name that his mother gave him at birth.

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What happens when you eat too many breadsticks? You get constipated.

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What do you call someone who is blind and deaf? Dumb.

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What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

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Penis

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What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

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why is there a hole in the wall, i hope a prehistoric mole doesnt come out of that hole in the ball CC

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How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

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What's worse than listening to a teacher talk? This joke.

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arse

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Whats worse than The Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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what kind of person screaws in a light blub........ a electrician

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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