- Anti Joke

What do you call a pickle that is sad? A pickle!????

What is worse than peeling a orange that is chasing a dog with raining men? Meeting johnny appleseed

Q: who is the worst person to ever post "jokes" on anti-joke.com? A: ryan valee

Knock, knock. Who's there? Not the World Trade Center.

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? ...an owl with a bungee cord.

What do you call a man who gets off the train at Willoughby? Dead

What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

Penis

milly, milly, milly, cat

roses are red violets are blue god made me pretty what happened to you?

I'm Spartacus

haiku's are stupid, and do not always make sense, refrigerator.

A black horse and a white horse were running through a field. Suddenly, the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, and the white horse got back up, and they kept running. They passed a tree. There was a Russian man sitting under the tree. He said, “Wow, these would make great racehorses!” So he captured them and put them in a race. Right before the gates opened, the black horse looked at the white horse and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the gates opened and they started to run, but the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the white horse got up and they both kept running. They lost. The Russian decided that they really didn’t make great racehorses, so he set them free. The next day, the black horse and the white horse were running through the field, when the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, and the white horse got back up, and they kept running. Today under the tree, there was a Mexican man. He said, “Wow, these would make great racehorses!” So he captured them and put them in a race. Right before the gates opened, the black horse looked at the white horse and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the gates opened and they started to run, but the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the white horse got up and they both kept running. Again, they lost, so the Mexican set them free in the field. The following day, the black horse and the white horse were running through the field, when the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, and the white horse got back up, and they kept running. Today under the tree, there was an Italian man. He said, “Wow, these would make such great racehorses!” So he captured them and put them in a race. Right before the gates opened, the black horse looked at the white horse and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the gates opened and they started to run, but the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the white horse got up and they both kept running. Once again, the horses did not win, so the Italian let them go. The next day, the black horse and the white horse were again running through the field, when the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, and the white horse got back up, and they kept running. Today under the tree, there was an Asian man. He said, “Wow, these would make great racehorses!” So he captured them and put them in a race. Right before the gates opened, the black horse looked at the white horse and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the gates opened and they started to run, but the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the white horse got up and they both kept running. The horses lost, so the Asian man released them. The next day, the black horse and the white horse were running through the field, when the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, and the white horse got back up, and they kept running. Today under the tree, there was an African man. He said, “Wow, these would make great racehorses!” So he captured them and put them in a race. Right before the gates opened, the black horse looked at the white horse and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the gates opened and they started to run, but the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the white horse got up and they both kept running. The horses lost again, so the African man released them. The next day, the black horse and the white horse were running through the field, when the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, and the white horse got back up, and they kept running. Today under the tree, there was an American man. He said, “Wow, these would make great racehorses!” So he captured them and put them in a race. Right before the gates opened, the black horse looked at the white horse and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the gates opened and they started to run, but the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the white horse got up and they both kept running. They lost, so the American sadly let them go. The next day, the black horse and the white horse were running through the field, when the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, and the white horse got back up, and they kept running. Today under the tree, there was an platypus. He said, “Wow, these would make great racehorses!” Then the black horse looked at the white horse and the white horse looked at the black horse, and the black horse said, “Wow, a talking platypus!”

Q.)What did the man say to the toilet A.) Hi Jon

No

who farted? umm........that guy.

lololololololololol

What word starts with 'f' and ends in 'uck'? Firetruck

What do you call a woman not in the kitchen? Her name.

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? - Getting raped by an giant scorpion.

What do you do when you're making out with your girlfriend? Play with another dude's ass.

Think of a number between -1 and 1 That's how many friends you have

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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