Why did the mushroom go to the party??? Cuzz he was a fungi (fun guy)

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I have a door you don't have to say, knock knock.

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Why was the blonde woman crying? -because she witnessed her infant get sucked into a jet engine and was very sad.

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What does spongebob do to get high. Nothing, spongebob doesnt exsist.

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Daddy daddy daddy. What. Will you buy me a porn for my birthday. What! I want porn daddy. Shut up gosh your a 8 year old girl

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

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A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

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What is a mexicans favorite sport? Whatever he is interested in.

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

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Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

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What do you call a Mexican who steals a car? A criminal.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

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Q. How do you make an atheist appreciate life? A. Break his legs.

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Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

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Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

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Why did the passenger plane crash? Well, if not mechanical failure or human error, probably because a bomb was detonated onboard.

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A Blonde walks into a bar. She is an abusive relationship and is drinking her pain away.

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Mmmm, donuts

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why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

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What did the pedephile do to the young boy? Smiled at him, said hello, and kept on walking.

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What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

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Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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