What was the hardest part about the orphanage burning down? My cock.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Turtles

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock. Use the doorbell, dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

28

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A rebellious teenage boy throws a dozen eggs on the street, now he has no eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

SAY

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was black

thumb_up thumb_down +8

yo mama's so fat, her medical weight chart is much steeper than those of most women her age

thumb_up thumb_down +8

in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jasper sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is green but looks like a silver car? A silver car....I lied about the green part.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A horse walks in a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse didn't reply because he was a hoarse horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down

why is my brother white and i am brown? the milk man is very fast!

thumb_up thumb_down

i like potatoes

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How did the guy drown if he wasn't in water? A shark threw up on him

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock, knock. Who's there? Nick. Nick who? Nick Wyatt

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happened when the boy didn't forward the chain message to ten people. Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats worst then the Holocaust? Two holocaust's.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops