Three men died and were met at the pearly gates of heaven by St. Peter. Which not only proves that there is a heaven but that St. Peter actually does greet all of its new inhabitants at the entrance which is in fact marked by gates of pearl.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Your muffins smell good! Oh you is just nasty.

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What is bad about being black and Jewish? Your gonna have to sit in the back of the oven

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A man walks into kindergarden class with a beer. He then gets arrested.

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What is the best thing about having sex with twenty-seven year old's? There's twenty of them

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what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

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Q: What's annoying and doesn't smoke? A: AIDS

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barack osama

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? it was dead.

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A pregnant woman takes the bus, once inside she realizes that there are no seats. No one was pollite enough to let her sit down so she felt pretty uncomfortable on the way home.

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A black guy and a Mexican jump off a bridge. Who dies first? Nobody cares.

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your mother's head is so big that she wears very big hats.

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A few black men walk into a bank... They all open seperate savings accounts and add a portion of that week's pay to put forward money to pay for their children's college education.

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Q; What's something that's long and girls like to suck? A: A popsicle

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Q. What is brown and sticky? A. Creosote.

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Why did man push another man off of a building? Because he is a homocidal maniac and should be in federal prison

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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A man asked a friend at work if he could have $100, his friend replied "sure I'll give it to you when pigs fly", that man never received $100 dollars from his friend.

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what do you call someone that is dying of malaria? someone that should consider visiting a doctor.

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What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

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Robin, get in the car.

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What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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