husband; do you come here often wife: i live here

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Jessica walks into a bar jokes jessica cant walk

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Neither do they

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Whats long and hard? a pole

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your worst nightmare!! Ohh.... Do come in it's raining outside.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Real jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

GONNA

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Hey, did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No He didn't either.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Two.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Noah is Smart.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man walked into a bar and suffered a mild concusion.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

For as long as i can remember, i've had memories

thumb_up thumb_down +33

roses are red, violets are blue, fudge is sweet, heres some fudge.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is the difference between a baby and a tampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock knock Whos there? D D who D's nuts!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you kill a Russian? You shoot him with a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other one's a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What happens when you eat too many breadsticks? You get constipated.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A fat man walks into a bar. There is a 70% chance his mom is fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What has human male genitalia? A human male

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is worse then Hitler? Shelly's Cooking.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops