An Irishman stays home

A very busty blond and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender asks with a smile, "What'll be today, pastor?" "Wine. please."

Why did the man break into the bank? Because he was a bank robber

What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

whats the difference between santa claus and jewish people santa claus goes down the chimney and jewish people go up

Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

Why was the legless man out of his wheelchair? He fell down some stairs.

What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

28

Icecream

Why did the little girl fall off the swing chair ? Gravity.

What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Duck Season" Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Duck Season" Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Wabbit Season" Elmer: Bang

why did the man die? he got shot

Your mother is so fat that unfortunately she can not fit into her picture for her passport and is not allowed to leave the country to go visit her dying mother.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

Knock Knock Who's there (five gunshots)

There was a deaf guy who heard a mute guy tell someone that a blind guy saw a guy with no legs win the marathon

Q: why do the Toronto maple leafs suck? A: they dont they r in seventh place biotch!

What happened when the boy didn't forward the chain message to ten people. Nothing.

What's silver and bad for your teeth? A wrench

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch? Names

A ginger rapping.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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