What's the best thing about sex with 24 year olds? They're in their sexual prime.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Today is your birthday So happy birthday

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

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Do you know what paper I get?.... Loose leaf :o

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When is a joke funny? When you read it.

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If you have two berries in one hand, and three in the other, what do you get when you put them together? Five.

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There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Roses are white Violets are white I did it in the garden

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3 guys and 2 women walk into a bar and sat down........... good to see both sex`s were welcome in the bar

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

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Q. why didnt the boy get a christmas present from his dear grandmother? A. because she died on thanksgiving

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What's worse than finding gum stuck on the bottom of your desk? A clown following you around carrying a shotgun and throwing toothbrushes at you.

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What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

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Person 1) Yo mama's so fat Person 2) My mother died in a horrible car accident last week

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

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What did the peanut butter say to the jelly?

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throbbing slobber

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Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people up*. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

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If you say gullible over and over again, it sounds like stupidity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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