in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

what did one bum way to the other? we're shit out of luck

What do you call a jew in a room full of gold? I highly improbable scenario in which the circumstances of how this "man" seemingly got into a gold room are unexplained.

"What was the hardest thing about that kid getting killed by that bus." "What?" "My dick"

Q: Why did Rapunzel fall out of the tower? A: Because she was a dumb bitch.

arse

What did the deer say to the hunter? If you shoot me i'll die.

Turtles

What's a rabbit's favourite food? No-one knows, like humans, every rabbit has it's own favourite food.

What is worse than falling into a pit of needles? being lit on fire and then falling into a pit of needles I imagine

What's silver and bad for your teeth? A wrench

if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

Why did the plane crash Because Joe diragi is so fat

how did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken..

Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the gay guy's house . Knock knock . Who's there? The chicken.

whats the difference between a white man and a black man? I like cake

Why was Hitler a bad person? He cheated at boggle.

Your hat is not on you head. Where is it On you head

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

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What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

Hi poop!

why did the man have solar panels on his house? because he had some money left over cos he won the lottery

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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