Wanna hear 2 short jokes and a long joke? Joke, joke , joooooookkkeeee

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Knock knock! Yes?

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Bing

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What do you call it when a drunk guy puts a tree in his house and then decorates his fireplace with his socks? Christmas (I didn't come up with this)

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haiku's are stupid, and do not always make sense, refrigerator.

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What is worse than getting a paper cut? Your whole family dying to MERS in Peru before you were old enough to remember any of them.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a cat? Neither did she

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why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

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A member of the KKK is walking along the street enjoying the nice weather. He then turns his attention to a black man on the other side of the street and stopped dead in his tracks. He stepped on a land mine.

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What do you get when an Alabama and an LSU kid are mixed?A small child who grows up in a world of fighting and domestic violence.

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suck my a s s i hate mother f u c k e r s in my mother f u c k i n g crib

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What's blue and screams when you look at it Idk that's why I'm asking you

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Whats funnier than an anti joke? a real one.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

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marble

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What do you call a duck with a mustache? A duck with a mustache.

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? Five. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

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Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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A three legged dog walks into the bar and says, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw." The bartender replies, "Your father was an honorable man, and I wish I could help."

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Hey, come here often? No.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben. Ben who? Ben Dover.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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