Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why can't Hank swim? Hank is a rock

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why is the world round? Because oranges are purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was the truck covered in blood? The chicken tried crossing the road

thumb_up thumb_down +26

i have 2 penises

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Slavery

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Ferrari ? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Obamacare!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you get a bunch of Pokémon onto a bus? You tell them to ride a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +22

DONALD TRUMP DIES

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his 8th birthday? Prosthetic arms and legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Two people walk into a bar, the third one ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

69

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A black man, a Mexican, and a Jew walk into a bar. The white bartender kills them all because he was a huge racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you start up a good conversation? Wanna have a good conversation?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why didn't Sally eat the meatballs The meatballs ate her

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

jess yawns with no hands in front of her mouth. true story.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A cat and a dog walk into a bar. The bartender says "it's refreshing to see perennial enemies enjoying each others company".

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops