It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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What do Ethiopians do at Christmas ? Starve...

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Who is Red and White and comes on Christmas? A Russian Candy Cane

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How did the jew reply to the racist comment? Judaism is not a race, it's a religion.

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what is patrick wilson? smart

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One time i ate a sandwich it was good

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What do you call a Jewish lawyer, who is happily married to a woman, but goes and sees a man on the side? A gay Jewish lawyer who cheats on his fake wife.

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What happened when the princess kissed the frog? She died, the frog was highly toxic.

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Wanna hear a joke? Toyota

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What did the college kids drink at the party? Soda. Alcohol is illegal for people under the age of 21 to consume.

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What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

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69

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Whats blue, sticky and glows only during the morning? IDK -Lets go Mets

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Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

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Why can't Hank swim? Hank is a rock

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whats worse then getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by 2 giant scorpions!!!!!

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A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

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Why did the black man sit at the back of the bus? Because all of the seats were taken by other people of different races. Luckily for the man, there was one empty seat at the back which he was able to sit on to make himself comfortable.

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newt gingrich

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Q:A man has 100 chocolate bars he eats 93 of them. What has he got now? A:Diabetes

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what is a vampires favorite dessert? a used tampon

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

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What do you call a man who just died 5 minutes ago? Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops