Why does LeBron James keep his phone on vibrate? Because he is often in the company of others and he does not want a ringtone to distract others from the current topic of discussion.

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What's brown a sticky? -A stick

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One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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how to you kill an Irish midget? You don't as murder is illegal and discriminating against a certain type of person is racist.

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What did the Scorpio say to the Aquarius? "How's Uranus? Ohhhhh!" The Aquarius replied: "I have maggots."

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American Idol

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Don't you hate it when you're reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles. _._._

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What do you call a jew in a room full of gold? I highly improbable scenario in which the circumstances of how this "man" seemingly got into a gold room are unexplained.

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gesss what happen u promis not to tell anyone ok this is what happen !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOTHING

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Why did Little Jimmy never make it in the NBA? Because he died at age 6.

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okay.....

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Why don't rhetorical questions need answers? Because that is what makes them rhetorical.

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your mamas so fat when she puts on a belt she has to use a bomarang to get it around her.

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How do you amuse a blonde? ? tell her to go to antijokes.com ( :

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roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you.

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What's white and comes out of a long black stick? Milk with a long black straw.

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why did the baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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CHEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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Why did the Asian man have squinty eyes? He was looking at the sun.

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*Look Down* Nice shoes, wanna F@#k?

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Q: Why did the paraplegic go to the gym? A: to watch his friend work out

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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whats the differance between a orange and a dead baby one is a delicious treat the other is a fruit

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whats bigger than a 4 school bus pile up? genocide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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