Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

how many jews can you fit in a honda civic 1 in the driver seat, 1 in the passenger seat and 3 in the back properly fixed with safety belts.

a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness ... Hello?

Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

Saddam Hussein is the father of the mothers of all cultchies.

A man walked into a bar and suffered a mild concusion.

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

9/11

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. - You don't need to because N and O are already together. - Then maybe a cyber-relationship would work. - Why ? - Look at your keyboard, U and I are next to each other.

Shit.

What's long and hard on a black man? First grade.

Your momma's so fat: She has found a value in relationships beyond an aesthetic level.

amy copied adams haircut :0

your amazing just the way you are... even though you have aids.

what is patrick wilson? smart

What do you call a one-armed man Whatever his name is

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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