Your mom is so fat she beat up snorlax from pokémon, than got charged for abbuse because it is illegal to use physical violence on pokémon unless in a battle or in attempt to capture one.

What happened to the little kid sitting next to a fat kid ? The little kid got DEVOURED

Why did the older man begin to walk faster after a black man started walking towards him? He was late for work.

What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, dogs can't speak English.

Whats worse than having no mother? Having no mother and father, enabling you to have to support a family at the age of 12, using the allowance that your parents are supposed to give you once a week.

whats bigger than a 4 school bus pile up? genocide.

A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides to go to to Lowe's instead.

If TACOS are Mexican PASTA is Italian HAMBURGER is American Then what is pizza???..... Dough, Cheese and Sauce Just Kidding, that was bad..... Turtles..... :D

If 25 cows walk in to the grocery store, what do you have? A scared manager. MOO!

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

What's blue and screams when you look at it Idk that's why I'm asking you

A man runs into a bar and warns everyone about the hurricane.

What word starts with 'f' and ends in 'uck'? Firetruck

Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas. A: A specially modified coffin.

why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno.

Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

what do you call a needle with two heads? a two headed needle

Why does Helen Keller only masturbate with one hand? Because she's moaning with the other.

Q: How did the blonde commit suicide? A: She shot herself in the head.

An Asian man man couldn't find his family, he is deeply concerned and contacts the missing persons unit.

Do you know what's funny? Retarded people.

A dog walks into a bar and falls on his butt beacause dogs cant walk.

A man walks into the bar, goes up to the bar tender and says "exuse me, please could I have a pint of bitter" the bartender says "sure"

The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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