Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

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There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

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What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

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Why did the black man run? There was a mass murderer chasing him with a chainsaw.

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What do you call a Jewish lawyer, who is happily married to a woman, but goes and sees a man on the side? A gay Jewish lawyer who cheats on his fake wife.

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How do you kill a down-syndrome kid? fire.

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Why was Bill Clinton such a good president? He went to ifreeclub.com

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your neighbor My neighbor who? I already told you, it's pronounced "Wu". I'm very sorry, Mr. Wu

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Why was the black man sad? People were frequently talking and whispering about his dark colouring behind his back. Also he had no legs.

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Sea World Japan.

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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Why did the White guy wanna be Black? He liked basketball.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other one's a watermelon

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where's waldo? in a picture book.

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What is the difference between a bench and a mexican? the bench is an object

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Knock Knock Who's There? ... knock a door run

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what is a vampires favorite dessert? a used tampon

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bad-mannered Bad-mannered who? F*ck Off

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Whats blue, sticky and glows only during the morning? IDK -Lets go Mets

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits.

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knock knock. who's there? whoer whoer who? whoer you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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