Three tomatoes are walking down the street... No wait, they're in my salad.

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Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

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Q:why are lamas cool? A:because m&m's are poisoned with deadly dosages of viagra.

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I won the game.

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Whats a good source of iron? A piece of iron.

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Why did the man stay in the basement? Because he was addicted to pornography and it was tearing his family apart. Eventually he was unable to tell the diffidence between fantasy and reality and sexually assaulted his 13 year old niece.

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a boy walked into a pet store to get his bird some food. they were all out. the bird died.

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whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

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Your mom is so fat, her pants are starting to get tight.

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What do you call a cool pig? SPIDER-PIG!!!

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Hey, did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No He didn't either.

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why did the chicken cross the road Kill yoself

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Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

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roses are red, violets are blue, fudge is sweet, heres some fudge.

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What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

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penis

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One time i ate a sandwich it was good

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What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it twice.

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They say under Chuck Norris's beard, is just a chin.

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Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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Man: Drink this. Man 2: Ok. (Drinks it) Man; You drank a powerful substance that is 20000 times stronger than hydrochloric acid! Man2: Oh FUCK! Kelvin Yang.

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Why was Bill Clinton such a good president? He went to ifreeclub.com

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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