how do you stop a train? you cant..

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What's the difference between above job and below job? Below job sucks

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What color is my lamp? Brown

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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you are gay

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A man suffering from terminal cancer walks into a bar and orders a soda because his doctor advised him not to drink. The bartender and others in the establishment are completely unaware of his disability.

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What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from their camps

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? The man's loving family had recently been murdered, and the clock was a constant reminder of their mortality, as it had served as the center of those horrific events.

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A jew, an Arab, and A Scientist walk into a bar. The arab self explodes and kills them all

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your mama is so fat she wears big pants.

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what was the dying mans last words? im dying

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There was a deaf guy who heard a mute guy tell someone that a blind guy saw a guy with no legs win the marathon

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A man runs into a bar and warns everyone about the hurricane.

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i fondle myself every night....

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How do you know if a monster is hiding under your bed or in your closet? Go and look.

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This desk is two chromebooks wide. It will be one once I push yours off.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A salad, hes on a diet

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? cause there are more geese on one side

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Where else? The junk yard

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What do you call a duck with a mustache? A duck with a mustache.

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What's the diference between an African guy and a lion? Nothing. But the lion will probably eat the African guy.

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Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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