What do you call a cool pig? SPIDER-PIG!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Which of the following is NOT true? A. The lemon is walking to a store. B. The store is walking to a lemon. C. The man is a lemon and a store. D. Peanuts are stuck in my anus

thumb_up thumb_down +32

The size of Idris Elba's penis

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: what do you call an icy road? A: dangerous

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why do you bury an Asian on the side of a hill? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Example of a pro gamer: A kid who gets all F's in gradeschool, dosent goto collage, gets fat, dies alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

No entiendo PORQUE cada día amanezco

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

a fat black man walks into an aquarium he enjoyed his day viewing many sea animals while buying a souvenier on his way out.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you start up a good conversation? Wanna have a good conversation?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Brett Farve

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Aodhan Hearty

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did your father say before he died? Nothing, he's already dead

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you do when you see a black man? The same thing you do when you see anybody.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Your mom is so fat, she has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What happened to the man that never got picked up? He died of a brain aneurysm, the ambulance never came.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do a large mouth bass and my wife have in common? They are both in the Animal kingdom, both are vertebrates and they share many other traits such as eyes, a notochord, and epaxial/hypaxial musculature.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a black guy that sings? A singer.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What does a girl with no arms on a swing? Falls.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops