What's worse then a dead baby? a dead baby in a blender

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why did the mexican cross the road? to catch its bus on the other side

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What did the plane say after it flew into the World Trade Center on 9/11 Nothing, planes are incapable of speaking.

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Whats worse than being a Jew? Being black.

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Would I ever lie to you? No, because lying is bad.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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A englishmen an irishmen and a ginger walk off a bridge gingers have no souls

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How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

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Why are blonds so stupid? Because our society is insecure and we need a common denominator to pick on, so we can feel more comfortable with our mediocre lives.

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How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

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A Mexican and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks. Then they leave because it turns out that wasn't the bar they were meeting the Jew at.

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I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the divorce papers were filed soon thereafter.

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There is a car full of black people.

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Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

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What do you call 4 Mexicans hopping the border? 4 Mexicans in search of a better lifestyle from poverty.

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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You're so straight!

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Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

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What rhymes with sloth? Cloth

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A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems, nice tits

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What's not red? No tomatoes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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