I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

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Oliver's friends

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Guess what? Chicken butt

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What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

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What did the mole say? Nothing

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What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

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One Big Ass Mistake America

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Why did little Timmy get absolutely nothing for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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Q: why did suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock. Q: who's there? A: not suzy!

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When does the Trogdor come? In the Niiiiighhhttttt.

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What does a girl with no arms on a swing? Falls.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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Why did the cow lay down? Because he was tired

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why did susie get hit by the bus? cause the bus driver wanted her ice cream

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Why did the todler fall over? He's an iraqi child and has ben shot inboth legs being readied fro public excution for fighting on the opposing side a.w. j.p.

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What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

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3 blonds walk into a bar ouch

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Why did the Black Man only eat one apple a day? He was trying to stay healthy. On an unrelated note he was under the poverty line, and addicted to an illegal substance. He does not represent African-American society very well.

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Women

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Why did the kids stop playing tag? Because the boy was "it" was kidnapped and never seen again

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Person 1: Knock knock. Person 2: Come in.

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a duck walked into the 7-11, grabbed a slurpee and told the man at the register, "put it on my bill". But the man behind the counter was Indian, and could not understand what the duck was saying. The duck then walked out confused, wondering why he was buying a slurpee in the first place

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A rebellious teenage boy throws a dozen eggs on the street, now he has no eggs.

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a carrot walks into a bar, carrots cant walk for they do not have legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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