two philosophers stood in silence at the foot of a very large mountain; a mountain not only too high to climb, but also too wide to walk around. So the first philosopher finally speaks: "...so, what do you do for a living?"

Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

How do you make a bowl of cheese? First you get a bowl. Then insert the cheese.

What's worse than being raped? Finding out that because you were sexually violated, you are now a victim of unplanned pregnancy and have contracted AIDS and any number of other STD's from the horrible expirence that will forever haunt your nightmares.

What did Bobby get for Christmas? Nothing, Bobby is an orphan and has no friends.

What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why the second koala fall out of the tree? because it was hit by the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? because it thought it was a game.

barack osama

Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

Niko isnt a mexican douche

A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

What's worse than the holocaust? The Russian Revolution

Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

Saddam Hussein is the father of the mothers of all cultchies.

Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

A man walked into a bar and suffered a mild concusion.

Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

Rosea's afre rewd Voleasts a/ere bluejw I ahve parkinson's dise'ase it ttook 4 hoiurs to w'irite this

How did the guy with aids die? He died of aids

I'm gay. Great me too.

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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