What color is my lamp? Brown

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"Doctor do i have aids?" asked the worried 13-year old.

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What do you call 2 black men sitting on a porch? Craig and Smokey

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

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What do Ed Milliband and David Milliband have in common? They are brothers.

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suck my a s s i hate mother f u c k e r s in my mother f u c k i n g crib

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Whats funnier than an anti joke? a real one.

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How do you know if a monster is hiding under your bed or in your closet? Go and look.

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marble

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Slavery lol

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a man walks into a bar... and he says 'ouch!'

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What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

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A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he felt the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies,"You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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One man said to another 'I think I'm going to have a chinese tonight.' the other replied 'it is wrong to eat people, even if they are chinese.'

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what happened to the mexican who dropped his ice cream at work? He got a raise, won the $5 billion jackpot, was given ten car dealerships, then died.

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So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

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What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? Roast Beef Is Made From A Cow And Is Commonly Sold At Your Local Arby's.Pea Soup Is Made From Peas And No One Really Likes Pea Soup Anyway So Its Not Really Sold Anywhere.

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An underaged man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, but the bartender says we don't serve minors. The boy then rushes out if the bar for fear of being caught.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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What's the difference between a women's running team and a band of pygmies? Quite a lot.

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...Jack Vale

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how do you kill a blonde? -a gun, knife or any other lethal object

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Two muffings are in an oven. One leans towards the other due to rising of the batter and says nothing. The other cupcake, unable to yield the cognitive process to speak utters nothing and cooks to an internal temperature of 175 C.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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