Q: how do you get a man with one arm out of a tree? A: shoot him

Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus isn't real. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm talking to him!"

Knock, knock. Come in!

Gadaffi

How do you make a girl happy then sad within 5 seconds? Buy her a pony and then shoot it

Listen I know you're a cat and I'm a cat but I know we can be friends

Why did Jimmy fail his math test? Because he had a mental disability

Who ate the cookies? Your face. Litterally.

What is worse than peeling a orange that is chasing a dog with raining men? Meeting johnny appleseed

A horse walks into a bar...n

What do you call a man who gets off the train at Willoughby? Dead

Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

So a magician was driving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 20 trees.

What do you call a lettuce named Andrew? Andrew.

What do you call a pig standing on its back legs? Yo mama

your moms so fat when she sat on your ipod it turned into an ipad

What do you call it when a drunk guy puts a tree in his house and then decorates his fireplace with his socks? Christmas (I didn't come up with this)

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

Why is he called Donald Trump? Because he trumps a lot...

A horse walks into a bar. It neighs and knocks over a few tables before leaving the bar confused.

That's unfortunate.

*Knock Knock* "whose there?"... "me"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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