Three tomatoes are walking down the street... No wait, they're in my salad.

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women's rights

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how do you get 100 dead babies in a bucket? use a blender. how do you get 100 dead babies out of a blender? Doritio's

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Q: What kills millions of people each year and sneaks up behind you unexpectedly? A: HIV/AIDS

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A black man walks into a bar. the bartender ask what he wants to drink. the black man responds , "i will have one beer please". so the bartender gives it to him and says have a nice day.

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What does does an elephant and a grape have in common? They are both grapes except for the elephant.

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

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The sandwich asked the girl to make her a boy.

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W.N.B.A.

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Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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Penis

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says, "Why the long face?" and the horse says, "I have cancer."

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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What happens when you eat too many breadsticks? You get constipated.

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yo mama's so ugly, it affects her self esteem.

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What's worse than the titanic sinking 9-11

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whats better than shoes feet

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Two people walk into a bar, the third one ducked.

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what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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whats red and looks like a bucket a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket a red bucket in diguise

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lewis bedford

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What did Sally get for Christmas? Nothing, Sally is dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops