What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

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Q:What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? A: It varies. But most dental offices are open for service between 8am and 4pm

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What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

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Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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go go gadget

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Penis

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Why couldn't the young boy go trick or treating? He was a diabetic.

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What does a ghost get when he watches pornography? A boner

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What do you call a boy with no arms and a hunchback? -names

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Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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What did the Pillow say to the Blanket? Nothing. Inanimate objects do not contain the ability to speak, therefore they could not possibly say anything to each other.

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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Why couldn't the Little Boy hear his mother yelling at him? Because his mothers died

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Why couldn't the blonde divide 5 by 0? Because it's impossible to divide by 0.

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I am funny, yes? No, you are not.

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What is the difference between a bench and a mexican? the bench is an object

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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Why did the fat black guy fail his eye exam? He's blind.

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why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

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ceiling mounted bonerss CC

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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