Why did the mechanic sleep under a car? He had narcolepsy.

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whats worse the being in a car crash? finding out that your mother and father were in the other car and were fatally injured.

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what is a vampires favorite dessert? a used tampon

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Why is the world round? Because oranges are purple.

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a banana

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Call the police and have them deal with the tragedy.

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Penis

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cried when I cut up the onion.

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How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

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Why did the Jew pick up the loose change on the ground?Because he has to use it for taxi money to get back home.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come in!

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“Anything that moves ey?” – William Deane

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what is green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

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what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

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Two black guys are in an elevator, one guy gets off at the sixth floor, and the other on the eighth. And thats it.

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roses are red violetes are blue you need to shut up or I will kill you

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Why isn't this joke funny Because i have cancer

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What did the aids patient do after he was diagnosed? He had sex with many more people and gave them aids as well.

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This post contains NOTHING.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Q: Why happened to the dead whale? A: It was shot by Asian pochures.

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Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

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Mmmmmmm Lemons

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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