What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What is black, white, and red all over? Obviusly a sunburned panguin.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Saddam Hussein is the father of the mothers of all cultchies.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the black guy hate the white guy??? Because the white guy enslaved his ancestors.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the boy miss a day off school? He was in a coma

thumb_up thumb_down +29

One time i ate a sandwich it was good

thumb_up thumb_down +29

3 black men walk into a bar. They order their drinks, tip the bartender, and could not have been more courteous.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Your life That's the joke

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a dragon that doesn't breathe fire? A Griffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What does a blonde's vagina taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why is 6 afraid of 7... Because 7 raped her little sister

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's huge, gray, and has a trunk and wings. An elephant with wings glued to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the college kids drink at the party? Soda. Alcohol is illegal for people under the age of 21 to consume.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops