What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

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What runs faster than a dead baby? Almost everything.

Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

What's the best part about Africa? Nothing.

Whats the difference between christians and nazis? one suppressed human rights and caused millions of deaths. the others were responsible for the holocaust.

What did Jerry Sandusky get for Christmas? Raped in jail.

what do you call the one eyed man in the land of the blind? You call him an outcast

When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Two.

Whats big, tall and fat? Most of America.

Who is Red and White and comes on Christmas? A Russian Candy Cane

Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

Whats a good source of iron? A piece of iron.

Q; What's something that's long and girls like to suck? A: A popsicle

What's better than nailing a baby into the wall? Football.

Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

Real jokes.

A man walked into a bar and suffered a mild concusion.

Womens rights. Are extremely valuable because women are equal.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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