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A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

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What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

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What does a Mexican do in a landslide? Lose a good deal of his hard earned property to the disaster.

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why are elephants gray? to tell them apart from blueberries.

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Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

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What is the difference between a baby and a tampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Except not really, it couldn't fit through the door.

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What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheel chair? A tragedy, especially considering his past struggles with HIV.

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Chocolate Bananas with Brocclie.wom

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how did the dinosaurs die? they got old

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Why did the person play his XBOX 360? because he felt like it.

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wanna hear a joke?... Womens rights

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What did the guy who speaks in tongue say to the other guy who speaks in tongue? Gibberish

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What do you call a Jewish lawyer, who is happily married to a woman, but goes and sees a man on the side? A gay Jewish lawyer who cheats on his fake wife.

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They say under Chuck Norris's beard, is just a chin.

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How do you kill a down-syndrome kid? fire.

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What does AIDS stand for? Acquired immune deficiency syndrome

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Simon Cowell's hair is real.

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What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

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How many Jews can you fit in a Jeep? Four.

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What do you call a dragon that doesn't breathe fire? A Griffin.

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What happens when you eat too many breadsticks? You get constipated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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