A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's the diference between an African guy and a lion? Nothing. But the lion will probably eat the African guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the girl not apply for her American CItizenship? She was already an American Citizen.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

One man said to another 'I think I'm going to have a chinese tonight.' the other replied 'it is wrong to eat people, even if they are chinese.'

thumb_up thumb_down -53

what is brown and sticky? a stick

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Hey, come here often? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... two pregnancy scares...whats worse than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -115

A man buys free health care...

thumb_up thumb_down +96

What did the little boy find when he came home from school? His mother hanging from a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What was the latino gardener doing? Working hard to keep his job in these tough economic times.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness ... Hello?

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

whats the best thing about fukkin twentyone year olds...theres twenty of them

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Real jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did Jerry Sandusky get for Christmas? Raped in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a black person in 1780? A slave mostly...

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Katlin Poladian liked her own status again.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Noah is Smart.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How did the guy with aids die? He died of aids

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Women rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

"Oh yeah?!" "Yeah!" "You wanna go?!" "No, sorry. I got plans." (walks away)

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Police, your family just died in a car accident/

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops