Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

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this website...

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Whats big, tall and fat? Most of America.

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Why is Joe white? Because he's white.

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Knock knock. Who's there? President. President who? The President of the United States.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Except not really, it couldn't fit through the door.

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What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell down and bumped his head He suffered a serious concussion and was never the same again.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

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what is the difference between a gay guy and Sarah Dwyer nothing the both like there sex but Sarah is a Guy.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

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Why did Ashley run out of juice in her house? Because she drank it all!

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Shit.

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a banana

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Mean while... at Jerry Sandusky's house

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Your momma's so fat: She has found a value in relationships beyond an aesthetic level.

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Knock Knock Why are you knocking? I have a doorbell.

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says, "Why the long face?" and the horse says, "I have cancer."

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How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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what is a vampires favorite dessert? a used tampon

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nock nock " whos there" , "open the door and you will see

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Whats blue, sticky and glows only during the morning? IDK -Lets go Mets

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If John has 50 candy bars, and he eats 45, how many cadybars does John have? Diabetes, John has diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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