What did your father say before he died? Nothing, he's already dead

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

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Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

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ME: HEY ZACH DO YOU KNOW WHO LIKES YOU................... ZACH: NO!... WHO.... ME: DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW??? ZACH:....YEAH!!!!!!!!!! ME: OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Raped

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Q: Whats worse than having a dead car battery? A: Going to prison and getting raped by a black guy

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why do black people like basketball? because it envolves running shooting and stealing

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why did the chicken cross the road.

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How do I recover from my Pokémon addiction? Catch 'em All!

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What do you get when you cross Arsene Wenger with Darth Vader? Arsene Vader

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How do you know when a Mexican has died? Well based on the large mass of people inside and outside the funeral home who mostly seem to be of a mexican background and cultue, it would be safe to say that those are his/her friends and family who care deeply about them and therefore you could conclude that a Mexican person probably passed away. It's actually quite sad and going to be a rough few days for those closely connected to the person who died.

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a horse walks into a barn

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

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How do you get a beautiful woman to go to bed with you? "How?" It's not a joke, it's a legitimate question!

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Why are white people typically not as good at basketball as black people? They don't have the hard work and dedication as those who are better.

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken so it will wonder when not properly fenced in

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So there's this cup that I own... I use it to aid in the drinking of my hot or cold beverages.

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Your momma is so fat that she has really high cholesterol but also an undoubtedly warm personality.

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yo mama's so sexy... wait, thats not how it goes

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jack shine has boobs

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What did little Robbie get for Christmas? AIDS

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Why does LeBron James keep his phone on vibrate? Because he is often in the company of others and he does not want a ringtone to distract others from the current topic of discussion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops