*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

thumb_up thumb_down +34

- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. - You don't need to because N and O are already together. - Then maybe a cyber-relationship would work. - Why ? - Look at your keyboard, U and I are next to each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Womens rights. Are extremely valuable because women are equal.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at rimes, refridgerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was Bill Clinton such a good president? He went to ifreeclub.com

thumb_up thumb_down +30

So Mel Gibson walks into a bar, and then everyone left.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

An elephant walks into a bar. Except not really, it couldn't fit through the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the black kid get for Christmas? A Derrick Rose jersey.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What does does an elephant and a grape have in common? They are both grapes except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink and then goes home and beats his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, you tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the twin towers get at the pizza place? 2 planes

thumb_up thumb_down +26

If a midget is mentally retarded and always late for work, is it okay to call him a little tardy?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Who is Red and White and comes on Christmas? A Russian Candy Cane

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Brett Farve

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did dan jump off of the empire state building? -Because Carl pushed him off.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What comes after 69? Mouthwash

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why do women where make-up and perfume? because they are ugly and they smell bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a fish without an eye? fsh.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why did the boy buy a dirty magizine? he should not have, its been on the floor. who wants to read the rolling stone magizine if it has dirt on it. how dumb of him.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops