Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

what is the worst thing in the galaxy? runing out of dr.pepper :(

What's the only part of a vegetable that you can't eat??? His wheelchair

why do asian people eat each other? because they are cannibles

Why was the blond looking at the orange juice box? Because she was reading the nutritional content of orange juice.

What do you call a cow with big horns? A bull.

what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

Wanna hear a "Friday" parody? No, that would be copyright infringement.

Why is Joe white? Because he's white.

How do you starve colored people? deny them food stamps

'Hey do you know a joke?' 'No' 'Me too'

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? it was dead.

why can't the black man get a job? The economy is suffering and unemployment rates are at an all time high

What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road? it said WALK.

What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

nice shorts.

That's what he said.

Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

Saddam Hussein is the father of the mothers of all cultchies.

So Mel Gibson walks into a bar, and then everyone left.

- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. - You don't need to because N and O are already together. - Then maybe a cyber-relationship would work. - Why ? - Look at your keyboard, U and I are next to each other.

Women rights.

Why did Ashley run out of juice in her house? Because she drank it all!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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