Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red Fences are red OMG MY FENCE IS ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I walked into a dark ally at night and ran into 2 black men They severely beat me then while unconscious brutally raped me. I then spent 5 weeks in the hospital in a deep coma.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

did you hear about the sidewalk? its all over town.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock! Who's there? No-one No-one who? .......

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Women's Golf

thumb_up thumb_down +16

On the last day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... A letter saying she had gone bankrupt, as she had spent all her money buying me 12 pear trees, 35 golden rings, hiring maids and pipers and etc. for over 100 hours, and an innumerable amount of animals.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the hooker go to the bathroom? Because she just exchanged sex for money and was cleaning herself up for her next trick.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why shouldn't women wear watches? Because there's a clock on their cell phones.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why do people often give Jimmy strange looks? Because Jimmy has Down Syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Who wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene? An arsonist who happens to be a forest ranger.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why don't chickens where pants? Cause they're animals,duh.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a gay, black, Muslim physician? Doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the man throw his alarm clock out the window? Because he has anger management issues.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the chicken cross the road? why do you care?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A: Want to hear a funny joke? B: Nah, I'm okay

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats worse than a dead dog? 5 dead babies and a dead dog...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

WHAT DO YOU CALL MEXICANS IN A HOT TUBE BOILED BEANS (; NO RACIAL

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a fat black man walks into an aquarium he enjoyed his day viewing many sea animals while buying a souvenier on his way out.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your Momma's so fat when the whales see her they don't say anything as they are unable to speak the human language.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you know when a Mexican has died? Well based on the large mass of people inside and outside the funeral home who mostly seem to be of a mexican background and cultue, it would be safe to say that those are his/her friends and family who care deeply about them and therefore you could conclude that a Mexican person probably passed away. It's actually quite sad and going to be a rough few days for those closely connected to the person who died.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A very busty blond and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender asks with a smile, "What'll be today, pastor?" "Wine. please."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops