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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

corey is a nipplepotomus

What do you call a black person who flys a plane? Well, first ask for their name, then address them as such.

cheese

Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

Baseball

Knock Knock. F uck off.

Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

What do I smell like to you?? Crap.

What is green but looks like a silver car? A silver car....I lied about the green part.

Costello: Who's on first Joe Girardi: Mark Teixeira

#FEARtheFLAMINGOS

Why did the baby cross the road. It was stapled to the chicken.

What do you get when you cross an owl with a bunge cord? My ass!

What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

how do you know if a chinese man has been in you house? your homework is done

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

The chicken crossed the road.

Why was the farmer buried in a grave on the top of a hill? He had died and this would be his final resting place.

Three men walked into a metal pole

What's the difference between people with aids and people with cancer? People with cancer can get into heaven

josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

What do you not want to get when playing scrabble? Diarrhea

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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