What do you call a woman with one leg? An amputee

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he wa depresed

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did one guy say to the other guy?? Well he just hi but hi backwards is ih and that reminded him of his days in Nahm because that's what his Sargent said and that reminded him of ice-cream because his Sargent smelled like ice-cream and that reminded him of the song that the ice-cream played which reminded him of Disney world which reminded him of a priest raping little boys which mad him laugh because that reminded him of a Jew picking up a penny which reminded him of Osama be shot in the f**k**g face and that reminded him to say how are you to the other guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Brett Farve

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Jingle bells, batman smells, robin laid an egg.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why Because

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because people kept making the same joke about her not having arms so she was hoping the fall would break her neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the black man sit at the back of the bus? Because all of the seats were taken by other people of different races. Luckily for the man, there was one empty seat at the back which he was able to sit on to make himself comfortable.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

i have 2 penises

thumb_up thumb_down +23

If you have alzeimers, wait, never mind i forget.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because she had been forcibly removed from her place of food preparation by a large angry mob of her neighbours who thought she was a wtitch and were now going to burn at the stake. It is Salem, november 1643.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What smells like curry and bombs? A dead Indian

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call an elderly women who after the death of her late husband had many enconters witb men? A whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Small breasts.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A blind woman walks into a bar... she stands there confused because she is blind and can't tell what going on.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops