apple pie.

Why did the Mexican drive the car off cliff? Because he wanted to.

Why does LeBron James keep his phone on vibrate? Because he is often in the company of others and he does not want a ringtone to distract others from the current topic of discussion.

So, this one time, I was at the grocery store. Man, that was nuts.

here i am sitting here staring at the wall and beside me is a doll, oh no its moving, i hope it doesnt lick tht popsicle, oh no it just licked tht popsicle, oh no oh no

William Raines.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

nik nak paddy wack give the dog a breathalyzer test

What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No...........

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

whats brown and falls out poop :) - haha

A Mexican and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks. Then they leave because it turns out that wasn't the bar they were meeting the Jew at.

What do nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.

Two guys walk into a bar... They sat down, had a few drinks and left without any incident.

Waseem likes to talk with his mouth full.

How do you check that you are not dreaming, but in actual fact, you are wide awake? Try to bite off our finger (this is actually possible, but the brain does not allow you to do it).

you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

Carlton

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

You are the third derivative of the position function.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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