What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing, rocks are inanimate objects, therefore rendering them unable to participate in the activity of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Myspace

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did Bobby get for Christmas? Nothing, Bobby is an orphan and has no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Wanna hear a "Friday" parody? No, that would be copyright infringement.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If you need an electrician to screw in a lightbulb, you're a moron.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A pregnant woman takes the bus, once inside she realizes that there are no seats. No one was pollite enough to let her sit down so she felt pretty uncomfortable on the way home.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Once upon a time there was a little puppy. He then grew old and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

husband; do you come here often wife: i live here

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Yo' mama so stupid, she has a lower IQ than the average person.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the jew get for christmas nothing because he doesnt celebrate christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Whats worse then reading the same joke over and over again? Getting mutilated by a cupcake.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did Rose throw the clock out the window? Because she's a moron.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the white man rub the black man's hair for good luck? Because it's good luck to rub a black man's hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you know that a woman is having an orgasm? They go like OH YAH OH YAH:D

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops