What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

three men walk into a bar. they are immediately rushed to urgent care due to blunt force trauma

Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

Kate

A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

q: whats fat hairy and always eats mcdonalds a playboy model i lied about everything

Example of a pro gamer: A kid who gets all F's in gradeschool, dosent goto collage, gets fat, dies alone.

what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

A man walks into a bar. [Insert punchline here.]

you want to hear a joke? sure... too bad

A man asked a friend at work if he could have $100, his friend replied "sure I'll give it to you when pigs fly", that man never received $100 dollars from his friend.

What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

Women rights..

How do you know that a woman is having an orgasm? They go like OH YAH OH YAH:D

Knock knock. Nobody answers because the homeowner was out of the house at the time.

Knock Knock Who's There? Bad-mannered Bad-mannered who? F*ck Off

Obamacare!

Pickle!

Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive? A:Because she is a woman A: She is blind deaf and dumb A: No seriously because she is dead.

roses are black violets are gray im color blind

Why did Justin Bieber smile in his mug shot? He did not understand the consequences of his horrible actions that could have killed many innocent men, woman, or children and, in jail, there could be very dangerous people living there.

Do you think retarded people know that they are retarded? I don't know, you tell me. Wait a second....did you just call me retarded? They are clueless.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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