what's hard and pink going in a soft and wet coming out Gum

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Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

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What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

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What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

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You are the third derivative of the position function.

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Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

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A man and a woman are in bed together and really want to do something, what is that something? Sleep.

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have mental problems Doobah haga Blakatrabbit

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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this website...

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how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

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Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

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Q: How do you fit a giraffe inside a refrigerator? A: You can't, it is physically impossible...

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What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

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Why was the asian so good with computers? Because he spent 8 years in college getting a doctorate in computer programming at the University of Hartford

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Why did the passenger plane crash? Well, if not mechanical failure or human error, probably because a bomb was detonated onboard.

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how did the dinosaurs die? they got old

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A man walked into a bar and suffered a mild concusion.

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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what is white and sticky? glue.

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Q: Whatcha doin?? A:Ur mom. . .

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What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

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AROUND

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Knock knock. Who's there? President. President who? The President of the United States.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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