Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A baby seal walks into a club. And is brutally murdered for a hunting round.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

The size of Idris Elba's penis

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

thumb_up thumb_down +27

If a midget is mentally retarded and always late for work, is it okay to call him a little tardy?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I got a joke. What did the Platypus say to the Policeman?" "What a ridiculous question, Platypus's can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a fat legless over weight black man called Tom. Tom.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Disc . Disc Who. Disconnected.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock. Who's There? Let Me In. Let Me In Who? Let Me In or I Will Kill You Tomorrow!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q:What did a young Arnold Schwarzenegger say when his friends wanted to play a game pretending to be 18th century composers? A: "I'll be Mozart!"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why couldn't the Little Boy hear his mother yelling at him? Because his mothers died

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hypothetical questions are a waste of time and you are not achieving your full potential by reading this during work.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A bar walks into your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are brown Violets are brown everything is brown Who shat in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A businessman walks out of a store with his new haircut he was bald.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

One Big Ass Mistake America

thumb_up thumb_down +19

i am predestal

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a mexican sleeping in a car tired.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Today I had sex with a married man, but thats OK he's my husband

thumb_up thumb_down +17

safety framed toilets like bbw (big black women)

thumb_up thumb_down +17

An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops