How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

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Nero, what if you are using me now? Manipulating me? You think I enjoy falling in love after chatting with you in a site which is not even meant for chatting? You can do that, you are a "facilitator", I don't care as much for point zero, as I do care about you, hell, if things where different, id quit the whole thing to stay with you! I could say I will never forgive you if you make me feel safe by your side, accept your help only to get stabbed in the back for trusting you.

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A homeless man stumbles upon $100 bill. It is actually just a food wrapper, his eyesight is lackluster.

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A van drives into a car.

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i heart wiener

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What's the capital of Thailand? The letter 'T'...

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A man saw a dinosaur. He probably watched it on the television because dinosaurs have been extingt for a very long time.

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What's the best thing about sex with 24 year olds? They're in their sexual prime.

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A: make me a sandwich woman! B: your a sandwich.

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A dog walks into a bar and falls on his butt beacause dogs cant walk.

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Q: why did timmy fall over? A: he was hit by a plane

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Why did the girl not apply for her American CItizenship? She was already an American Citizen.

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Your muffins smell good! Oh you is just nasty.

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Why do mexicans jump the gate Because theres a sale at chipotle

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What is bad about being black and Jewish? Your gonna have to sit in the back of the oven

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3 guys and 2 women walk into a bar and sat down........... good to see both sex`s were welcome in the bar

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't because it got hit by a car.

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Q. why didnt the boy get a christmas present from his dear grandmother? A. because she died on thanksgiving

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

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I am black.

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roses are red facebook is blue you look f**kable so i'll add you by: matt

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is common to find chickens and other wild and/or domesticated animals roaming through the streets in a multitude of countries.

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Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops