why did the bird fall out of the sky? it had been shot by a bird hunter, as it was bird season.

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What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

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What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Whats worse than your camera not working? getting hit by a fridge during the Holocaust

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Q: Why did Rapunzel fall out of the tower? A: Because she was a dumb bitch.

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your family is so poor that you require healthcare to recieve money

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Why does Magic Johnson always use extra large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. I'm calling the police.

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What did the blind, def , dumb kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it was born yesterday.

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What's orange and can fly through walls? A Magic Orange.

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Whats worse than than Holocaust.? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, dogs can't speak English.

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Why don't rhetorical questions need answers? Because that is what makes them rhetorical.

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Haha

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poop.........

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Two men are sitting in a bar. They finish their drinks and pay the bill before leaving.

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What happened to the little kid sitting next to a fat kid ? The little kid got DEVOURED

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Three men walked into a metal pole

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What do Ed Milliband and David Milliband have in common? They are brothers.

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Why did Jim laugh so hard? Triangle!

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Roses are red Vilots are blue God made people pretty What the happend to you

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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