Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

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Why was the little Latino boy sad? Because his father sexually molested him earlier in the evening.

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A girl walks into a bar. She's a lesbian.

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Slavery lol

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What's the diference between an African guy and a lion? Nothing. But the lion will probably eat the African guy.

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your moms so fat she has a heart attack when she walks to the pantry.

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Why did the 1,000 pound woman start crying? Because her son got hit by a car.

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Why did the girl not apply for her American CItizenship? She was already an American Citizen.

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Whats helped us not be mad at Osama Binladen. His death.

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Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

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When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

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how do you kill a blonde? -a gun, knife or any other lethal object

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what did the duck say to the dog. quack

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

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Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

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What do you call a cow with big horns? A bull.

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What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

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69

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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What do you call a monkey? A monkey.

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Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road? it said WALK.

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Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

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What do you call a banana that's about to be eaten? A Banana

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out that because you were sexually violated, you are now a victim of unplanned pregnancy and have contracted AIDS and any number of other STD's from the horrible expirence that will forever haunt your nightmares.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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