You're pretty... PRETTY UGLY

Why did the chicken cross the road Banana

What's wrong with him? He lit the flashlight at both ends.

what did the duck say to the dog. quack

how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

A Poem that would be from a stocker: Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van and NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Knock knock. Whos there? To get to the other side.

Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

STOP LOOKING AT MY JOKE

A very depressed man walks into a bar, sits down, and gives the bartender his credit card and says, "Keep giving me beers until I pass out." The bartender asks, "What's wrong Buddy? You can talk to me!" The depressed man explains that he was fired, his wife has been cheating on him for the past 2 years, both his daughters ran away and became prostitutes, his mother died after choking on his father's Genitals and the father had just been diagnosed with both brain and testicular cancer and will die within the week, his sister was kidnapped and sold into a sex slave market and has been missing for the past year, his brother confessed to being gay and committed suicide with his lover (male) after learning that their state did not accept gay marriage. He pauses to drink his beer, then continues on to say that he has been convicted of sexually assaulting a child even though he was innocent, his dog had just been run over by a tractor trailer with no physical body left to bury, his cat had gotten stuck in the garbage disposal and he turned it on without knowledge that the cat was sleeping inside. The man looks at the bartender and started to laugh and cry at his misfortune, he then said,"... And to top it all off i just spent the past 2 hours explaining this to a deaf bartender!" The man then went home and hung himself on the telephone pole outside his house. At the funeral only the bartender,who attended, spoke on his behalf, reciting the man's terrible life, then ending by saying, "This man death has motivated me to search for a cure to this rare Delusional Disorder."

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

Why did sally fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

That's what he said.

Whats worse then reading the same joke over and over again? Getting mutilated by a cupcake.

What did the twin towers get at the pizza place? 2 planes

knock, knock, TRICK OR TREAT

8=>

Why did the man stay in the basement? Because he was addicted to pornography and it was tearing his family apart. Eventually he was unable to tell the diffidence between fantasy and reality and sexually assaulted his 13 year old niece.

A man walked into a bar and suffered a mild concusion.

why are elephants gray? to tell them apart from blueberries.

What is the hardest part of a vegtable? The wheel chair 0.o

Why did the white man rub the black man's hair for good luck? Because it's good luck to rub a black man's hair.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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