A: make me a sandwich woman! B: your a sandwich.

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A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

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a drug dealer was caught and sent to jail. he asks the cop if he could give the cop the drugs for bail. the cop does not except the offer because it is against the law.

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How do you stop a bus? Put the brakes on.

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alcoholism kills

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One man said to another 'I think I'm going to have a chinese tonight.' the other replied 'it is wrong to eat people, even if they are chinese.'

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So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

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Whats helped us not be mad at Osama Binladen. His death.

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Why did the cow cross the road?..I didn't know the intentions of the cow, but an elderly woman in an automobile experienced a collision with the animal that ended not only the life of the cow but of the elderly woman as well.

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How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

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Person 1) Yo mama's so fat Person 2) My mother died in a horrible car accident last week

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What's big, grey and can't swim? A castle

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Two girls were sitting quietly. Badum tss

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What type of food was the black guy eating? fruit, he is on a diet

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what is black, white, and red all over? A bloody panda

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STOP LOOKING AT MY JOKE

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What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

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- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

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Why did the angry husband murder his cheating wife? She forgot to cook dinner.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

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why are these jokes so funny? why are u so fat bitch

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Fruitcake

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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