Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

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Why can't Hank swim? Hank is a rock

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Why did the black man run? There was a mass murderer chasing him with a chainsaw.

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What did the guy say to the mushroom?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was about to get raped.

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i have 2 penises

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nock nock " whos there" , "open the door and you will see

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What's worst than Rick Perry? Two Rick Perrys.

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What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive Cause she's a woman

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Yo mama so fat even Dora couldn't explore her!

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says, "Why the long face?" and the horse says, "I have cancer."

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Three black men walk into a store at 2:00 in the morning, what happens next? They buy some snacks and leave.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Q:What did a young Arnold Schwarzenegger say when his friends wanted to play a game pretending to be 18th century composers? A: "I'll be Mozart!"

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Why did our black president put a porch swing on the white house? He likes to swing.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make a great milkshake? Because he's had a successful career where he has made a substantial amount of money, allowing him to purchase high quality ingredients.

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Scott

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What did the man say to hitler? hi hitler.

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anus soup

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What's black and white and red all over? Lots of things, including certain ugly clothing.

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How do you start up a good conversation? Wanna have a good conversation?

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To murder your whole family.

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops