Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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Knock knock. Whos there? To get to the other side.

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A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

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What do you call a Mexican who steals a car? A criminal.

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A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

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how many jews can you fit in a honda civic 1 in the driver seat, 1 in the passenger seat and 3 in the back properly fixed with safety belts.

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If you need an electrician to screw in a lightbulb, you're a moron.

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The government makes a good decision

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Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

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nbjhfghl

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What's long and hard on a black man? First grade.

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What do Ethiopians do at Christmas ? Starve...

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It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, you tell me.

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why did the chicken cross the road Kill yoself

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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your amazing just the way you are... even though you have aids.

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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Your momma's so fat: She has found a value in relationships beyond an aesthetic level.

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Three tomatoes are walking down the street... No wait, they're in my salad.

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Q. What's black and white and red all over? A. Certainly not a newspaper. Nobody reads those anymore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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