A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

If a midget is mentally retarded and always late for work, is it okay to call him a little tardy?

What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

What's a Mexican who walks down the street called? A pedestrian.

What do you call a fat Mexican? Whatever his name is.

Why did the chicken cross the road To go to KFC

Why did the black man run? There was a mass murderer chasing him with a chainsaw.

A women walks out of a kitchen.

Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

I've got the moobs like jagger.

Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

Wanna hear a joke!? Miley Cyrus.

Why did the sprinter lose the race He had no legs

Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Everyone on board died.

How do you start up a good conversation? Wanna have a good conversation?

Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

whats better than shoes feet

Q: Why happened to the dead whale? A: It was shot by Asian pochures.

How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You don't, Pikachu is a fictional character therefore doesn't exist

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender brings him the beer, and the man drinks it. Then the man dies in a car crash while driving back to his family

Why did the White guy wanna be Black? He liked basketball.

why did the boy buy a dirty magizine? he should not have, its been on the floor. who wants to read the rolling stone magizine if it has dirt on it. how dumb of him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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