Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

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What runs faster than a dead baby? Almost everything.

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your worst nightmare!! Ohh.... Do come in it's raining outside.

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A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

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yo mamma so fat she seen a yellow train full of white people and she said stop that twinkie

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What did Jerry Sandusky get for Christmas? Raped in jail.

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What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

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There's a American, Mexican, and a Canadian stranded in the desert. They couldn't find any food, water, and shelter. They were all really hungry and thirsty. Later that day the Mexican dies from a very bad infection on his neck.

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Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

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Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

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What did Pikachu say to Ghandi? Pika Pika

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Why did the black man win the staring contest? He's good at staring

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What do you call a diving-board factory worker threatening to jump off the roof? Names.

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Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and a hunchback? -names

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A kid with no arms or legs is stuck in the desert. Sucks to be him.

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Anti jokes are funny

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What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

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Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

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whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

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What is the difference between a baby and a tampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

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So a Jew, a black guy, and a Mexican all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey guys, what would you like?" They all get beer.

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I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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