What does Chuck Norris do when he breaks his legs? he calls a doctor.

Why did the sprinter lose the race He had no legs

Q:Whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead baby? A:The dog has skidmarks in front of it -RDV

Lacrosse

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

Why did the man throw his alarm clock out the window? Because he has anger management issues.

Last week, I saw a film. As I recall it was a horror film.

Whats the definition of helpless? A quadraplegic in a washing machine

roses are red violetes are blue you need to shut up or I will kill you

Jewish People

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

Your mom is so stupid that... She often makes mistakes.

Once upon a time, there was boy. I saw this boy. So I sat on him.

Why did the kids stop playing tag? Because the boy was "it" was kidnapped and never seen again

4 out of 5 Americans make up 80% of Americans

Your Mamma is so poor that she begs for money.

why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

Nickelback

What time is it? 10:58

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r Dbags n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

Why did the Black Man only eat one apple a day? He was trying to stay healthy. On an unrelated note he was under the poverty line, and addicted to an illegal substance. He does not represent African-American society very well.

Your mom is so fat she should be concerned about her increased risk of heart failure.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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