The chicken crossed the road.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold their pants up.

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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When is a door not a door? When it was never actually a door in the first place and you just thought, for whatever reason, that i was.

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No...........

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Who is Soulja Boy's best friend? YOUUUUUUUUUUUU

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Hey what time is it. 3:15

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What's grosser than gross? Grosser. What's grosser than that? Grossest.

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Whats black and white and red all over? An interracial aborted fetus

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So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

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Daddy daddy daddy. What. Will you buy me a porn for my birthday. What! I want porn daddy. Shut up gosh your a 8 year old girl

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Why do Jews have big noses? Because it is genetic.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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A man walked into the white house and security escorted him out because he didn't have a pass.

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Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

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whats slower then a turtle A FATTY

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? it was dead.

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Why did the man cross the road? He was obviously trying to get to his work, however he realized he was jaywalking in front of a cop and had to pay a fine and ended up being late to work.

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Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out that because you were sexually violated, you are now a victim of unplanned pregnancy and have contracted AIDS and any number of other STD's from the horrible expirence that will forever haunt your nightmares.

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What is the difference between you and Chuck Norris? You're reading this and he's probably doing something productive.

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How do you keep a dog from chasing it's tail? cut off it's legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops