your mamas so fat she falls out f both sides of the bed

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What do clowns put on bagels? Cream Cheese

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Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

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A very depressed man walks into a bar, sits down, and gives the bartender his credit card and says, "Keep giving me beers until I pass out." The bartender asks, "What's wrong Buddy? You can talk to me!" The depressed man explains that he was fired, his wife has been cheating on him for the past 2 years, both his daughters ran away and became prostitutes, his mother died after choking on his father's Genitals and the father had just been diagnosed with both brain and testicular cancer and will die within the week, his sister was kidnapped and sold into a sex slave market and has been missing for the past year, his brother confessed to being gay and committed suicide with his lover (male) after learning that their state did not accept gay marriage. He pauses to drink his beer, then continues on to say that he has been convicted of sexually assaulting a child even though he was innocent, his dog had just been run over by a tractor trailer with no physical body left to bury, his cat had gotten stuck in the garbage disposal and he turned it on without knowledge that the cat was sleeping inside. The man looks at the bartender and started to laugh and cry at his misfortune, he then said,"... And to top it all off i just spent the past 2 hours explaining this to a deaf bartender!" The man then went home and hung himself on the telephone pole outside his house. At the funeral only the bartender,who attended, spoke on his behalf, reciting the man's terrible life, then ending by saying, "This man death has motivated me to search for a cure to this rare Delusional Disorder."

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nice shorts.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

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The WNBA

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Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

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69

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Niko isnt a mexican douche

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What was the latino gardener doing? Working hard to keep his job in these tough economic times.

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What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

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you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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'Hey do you know a joke?' 'No' 'Me too'

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You are the third derivative of the position function.

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Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

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When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

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Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

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What did the little boy find when he came home from school? His mother hanging from a tree.

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What is a girl with one leg called ( iliene )

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a boy walked into a pet store to get his bird some food. they were all out. the bird died.

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What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

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Want to hear a joke? Jerry Sandusky's innocence

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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